I was mugged
Douglas Marr
I’ve never been mugged, until last week that is. I now feel that I am the political equivalent of the innocent who walks through Soho with his wallet protruding from his back pocket. Let me explain.
A number of years ago I moved to rural Aberdeenshire. A short time later one of those nice Liberal Democrat gentlemen came calling asking for my support in a forthcoming election. I can’t recall which one, man or election. I explained politely that I come from a family that, for generations, has believed that the road to improvement lies through socialism and education. ‘Ah’, he responded knowingly. ‘You realise that in this area a vote for Labour means that the Tories will get in’. It may have been while I was mulling over the juxtaposition of ‘socialism’ and ‘Labour’, that I missed the bit about a vote for the Liberal Democrats gets you Cameron, Osborne and the insufferably smug Letwin.
I suppose I am the second-hand car salesman’s dream. I swallowed the doorstep pitch and, from that day, we have been a Liberal Democrat voting household. At times it went against the grain. We may not have been sure what they stood for, but at least we knew what they were against. Or so we thought.
Of course I was naïve. I am old enough, if not wise enough, to know better. Over the years I have been sufficiently close to national and local politicians to realise that they are usually driven by their own interests and careers. I have a friend who believes that anyone who considers standing for election should be instantly disqualified on the grounds of unsuitability. To be fair, there must be some politicians motivated by a sense of selfless public service and the national interest. Give me a day or two and I will come up with a name.
The formation of the coalition confirms what I should have known all along. At local and national levels, the Liberal Democrats will cosy up to anyone if it gives them a whiff of power. In Aberdeen, the Liberal Democrats are part of the most inept ruling coalition in the city’s history. They have overseen the destruction of many of the city’s most valued assets and services. Their liberal principles have not prevented them from targeting services to the most vulnerable, including the elderly and disabled. In truth, their only principle is to cling, limpet-like, to power.
Nationally, Clegg’s rhetoric about liberal principles and national interest is hollow claptrap. As with all politicians, he and his colleagues are driven by self-advancement and ministerial cars. It is their raison d’etre. Fair enough, but save us all the moral high ground guff. I would have respected him more had he said that he wanted a place at the cabinet table or he’d heard that Samantha’s Eton Mess is worth abasing your principles for.
The formation of the coalition demonstrates the inexperience and naivety of both partners. Cameron’s desire to get to Number 10 has led him to make concessions that will not sit easily with sections of his own party. Trouble lies ahead with the Turnip Taliban, especially those of the Tebbit tendency, over electoral reform, Europe and immigration. Surely Cameron would have been wiser to form a minority administration and to threaten the opposition with another election should they block key aspects of his legislative programme. The point will be made forcefully to him when the euphoria wears off, as it surely will.
The Liberal Democrats have sacrificed their future for short-term gain. They face two equally unappetising prospects. Fixed term parliaments or not, the Tories will jettison them at the first opportunity or swallow them, Jonah-like. They are heading for a 1920s type schism that marked the final, not so strange, death of Liberal England. Furthermore, what will happen in the inevitable by-elections that will take place? Will the coalition partners choose a single candidate or will one party stand down its candidate to allow its partner a free run? Neither option will sit easily with Scottish voters. The only morally defensible course of action would have been to allow the Conservatives to form a minority government, be part of a principled opposition and scrutinise each piece of proposed legislation on its merits.
The other nightmare for the Liberal Democrats is that they now have to deliver. For decades they have been an irrelevance, able to sit on the sidelines and criticise, secure in the knowledge that their policies would never be tested in the heat of battle. Poor Vince Cable must already be waking in a cold sweat. His over-hyped reputation, built on the misapprehension that he predicted the banking crisis, is about to be put to the test. The man who ridiculed Gordon Brown’s transformation from ‘Stalin to Mr Bean’ will do well to avoid a similar transmogrification from Delphic Oracle to latter day Frank Spencer.
As I write this, the local radio station has just played The Who’s classic ‘Won’t Get Fooled Again’. Someone at the station has a sense of humour or is sending a message to the Liberal Democrats. The voters in this part of the country won’t require long memories and it is the Liberal Democrats who are most likely to pay the price at next year’s elections. Go back to your constituencies and prepare for obscurity.
Douglas Marr CBE is a former headteacher
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