Andrew Hook
The whole world is at fever pitch over the World Cup. Or so we were told before it began. Now that it has kicked off, a very different reality begins to emerge. After the endless media hype, what has World Cup football proved to be like? Dull and boring; prosaic and pedestrian; unexciting and uneventful. Choose any of the above. All apply.
A few weeks ago I decided that the Scottish Cup final was the poorest game I’d ever watched: in the first half no player seemed able to kick the ball without sending it into touch. Now I’m not so sure. I haven’t watched every broadcast World Cup game, but I have seen most of them. And most have made the Scottish Cup final seem exciting.
What’s the problem? Simply that in this first round of games teams don’t want to win – only not to lose. So the poor spectators, having coughed up vast sums of money to be there, have to endure the spectacle of teams using up the 90 minutes making no serious effort to score a goal – in case that involves the slightest danger of losing one. No wonder the paying public tries to find a bit of entertainment in Mexican waves.
Worse still we were told this World Cup would be the most exciting ever because it was the first to be held in Africa. True enough, in previous tournaments the teams from African countries often seemed special: fast, athletic, attacking, exciting. Not any more. Run by their European coaches, they now play the same defensive game as all the other teams. So attention wandering, we have to watch as defenders pass the ball endlessly between each other, while the other team looks on. Once upon a time the beautiful game involved passing the ball forward so as to threaten the opponent’s goal. Not any longer. In these matches most passes seem to go safely backwards.
Then there is the issue of the ball itself. This specially designed World Cup ball seems to be lighter, more difficult to control than players expect. So we watch in disbelief as these professional players – most of them earning huge salaries – send every free kick sailing over the bar; every corner soaring beyond team-mates in front of goal; every long ball forward zooming out of play beyond the intended receiver. If the players are unable to cope with this problem, one would have thought it would have been easy enough for their coaches – many of them earning even more millions than the players – to put things right. In fact all they do is moan about the ‘controversial’ ball. Blaming it, not the players.
Spectator sport is meant to be entertaining. The World Cup so far has not been entertaining. Spectators should be demanding their money back from FIFA. Why not change the system? Have 32 teams play in a knock-out tournament. Then every game would be dramatic. But of course that won’t happen. It would mean fewer games – and so less money for FIFA and a thousand other business interests. Meantime, as the latest game drags on, at least we have the vuvuzelas to keep us awake.
Andrew Hook is a former professor of English literature at
Glasgow University
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