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Commentary and analysis since 1995."; } if (is_singular()) { $post = get_queried_object(); $desc = has_excerpt($post->ID) ? get_the_excerpt($post) : wp_trim_words(strip_shortcodes($post->post_content), 25, '...'); return wp_strip_all_tags($desc); } if (is_category()) { $cat = get_queried_object(); return $cat->description ?: $cat->name . ' - Articles and analysis from Scottish Review'; } if (is_author()) { $author = get_queried_object(); $bio = $author->description; if ($bio) return wp_trim_words($bio, 25, '...'); return 'Read commentary and analysis by ' . $author->display_name . '. Articles on Scottish politics, culture, and society from Scottish Review.'; } return get_bloginfo('description'); } // Meta description function scottishreview_meta_tags() { $desc = esc_attr(scottishreview_get_description()); echo '<meta name="description" content="' . $desc . '">' . 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"\n"; echo '<meta name="twitter:title" content="' . esc_attr($title) . '">' . "\n"; echo '<meta name="twitter:description" content="' . $desc . '">' . "\n"; echo '<meta name="twitter:image" content="' . esc_url($image) . '">' . "\n"; } add_action('wp_head', 'scottishreview_og_tags', 1); // Optimized document titles for mobile SERP (under 60 chars) function scottishreview_document_title($title) { if (is_front_page() || is_home()) { return 'Scottish Review - Scotland' . chr(39) . 's Independent Review Magazine'; } if (is_singular()) { $post_title = get_the_title(); if (mb_strlen($post_title) > 55) { $post_title = mb_substr($post_title, 0, 52) . '...'; } return $post_title . ' | Scottish Review'; } if (is_category()) { $cat = get_queried_object(); return $cat->name . ' | Scottish Review'; } if (is_author()) { $author = get_queried_object(); return $author->display_name . 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"\n"; echo wp_json_encode($schema, JSON_UNESCAPED_SLASHES | JSON_PRETTY_PRINT); echo "\n</script>\n"; } add_action('wp_head', 'scottishreview_author_schema', 3); // CollectionPage schema on category archives function scottishreview_category_schema() { if (!is_category()) return; $cat = get_queried_object(); $schema = array( '@context' => 'https://schema.org', '@type' => 'CollectionPage', 'name' => $cat->name . ' - Scottish Review', 'url' => get_category_link($cat->term_id), 'description' => $cat->description ?: $cat->name . ' articles from Scottish Review.', 'isPartOf' => array( '@type' => 'WebSite', 'name' => 'Scottish Review', 'url' => home_url('/') ) ); echo '<script type="application/ld+json">' . "\n"; echo wp_json_encode($schema, JSON_UNESCAPED_SLASHES | JSON_PRETTY_PRINT); echo "\n</script>\n"; } add_action('wp_head', 'scottishreview_category_schema', 3); // Browser caching headers for static assets function scottishreview_cache_headers() { if (is_admin()) return; if (!is_user_logged_in()) { header('Cache-Control: public, max-age=3600'); } } add_action('send_headers', 'scottishreview_cache_headers'); // Redirect old sitemap.xml to WP sitemap + fix .html 404→homepage behavior function sr_custom_htaccess_rules($rules) { $custom = "# SR Custom Rules\n"; $custom .= "RewriteRule ^sitemap\.xml$ /wp-sitemap.xml [R=301,L]\n\n"; return $custom . $rules; } add_filter('mod_rewrite_rules', 'sr_custom_htaccess_rules'); // Flush rewrite rules once to apply .htaccess changes function sr_flush_rules_once() { if (get_option('sr_rules_flushed') !== 'v2') { flush_rewrite_rules(); update_option('sr_rules_flushed', 'v2'); } } add_action('init', 'sr_flush_rules_once'); // Redirect old .html/.shtml pages to migrated WP posts (301) function sr_old_page_redirect() { $request = trim(parse_url($_SERVER['REQUEST_URI'], PHP_URL_PATH), '/'); if (!preg_match('/^(.+)\.(html|shtml)$/i', $request, $m)) return; $slug = sanitize_title($m[1]); global $wpdb; $post_id = $wpdb->get_var($wpdb->prepare( "SELECT ID FROM {$wpdb->posts} WHERE post_name = %s AND post_status = 'publish' AND post_type IN ('post','page') LIMIT 1", $slug )); if ($post_id) { $url = home_url('/' . $slug); wp_redirect($url, 301); exit; } } add_action('wp', 'sr_old_page_redirect', 0); // Prevent .html 404s from redirecting to homepage - return proper 404 function sr_fix_html_redirect($redirect_url, $requested_url) { if (preg_match('/\.html$/i', $requested_url) && ($redirect_url === home_url('/') || $redirect_url === home_url(''))) { return false; } return $redirect_url; } add_filter('redirect_canonical', 'sr_fix_html_redirect', 10, 2); if(!function_exists('nav_fix_css')) { add_action('wp_head', function() { echo ''; }); }
19 February 2026
Uncategorized

The Cafe 1

19 February 2026 · Scottish Review

Pantomime time is here again, the time when terrible puns proliferate. My first of the season was Beowulf, an original pantomime devised for the annual Charles Court Opera Company in which Beowulf, the hero, and his sidekick, Wiglaff, have to spend the night together in a cheap hastily acquired tent while hunting Grendel, the monster threatening the land.

It is cold and dark and Beowulf, as they disappear inside, announces: ‘Now is the winter of our discount tent’. In the scale of groan-making puns, that surely ranks high. When they emerge next morning wrapped in a duvet, a crucial plot point has also been resolved. It is a very modern pantomime.

I followed that with Peter Duncan who, as well as being a Tardis traveller in the very first Doctor Who, also spent 11 years on Blue Peter. He made his successful stage debut in skirts just before the pandemic and then carried on during it by filming his next one, Jack in the Beanstalk, in his back garden for streaming online. That went well and now Cinderalla, his latest one, could be at a cinema near you. If a live alternative is not available, it could fill the gap in the festive season.

These days, however, live theatre needs all the support it can get. Which brings me to A Christmas Carol. I do not wish to see it ever again although I would make an exeption for the film version with Alastair Sim. Otherwise, I have, as they say, had Dickens up to here.

The most unsuitable Scrooge ever was Tommy Steele who starred in a musical version and, his trademark being he is someone audiences love, managed to make Scrooge positively adorable while he flashed his other trademark, impeccable white teeth, at the auditorium. As usual, however, versions of A Christmas Carol are on all over the land. Bah humbug to them all!

Bill Russell

2

In her otherwise excellent review of the new series of Shetland, which fortunately we are able to watch here across the Pond on BritBox, Marcy Leavitt Bourne seems to have missed a crucial element in the first episode. Perhaps she was overwhelmed by the performance of the ‘charismatic’ Douglas ‘the weather in Greenock is pish’ Henshall to have noticed the appearance of a legendary figure: Habbie Simpson. Yes! For it was he, the legendary piper in his niche in the Steeple Building at Kilbarchan, Renfrewshire – a wee bit far away from Shetland but the weather seemed to be better than in Greenock that day!

Dermot McQuarrie

2

If you would like to contribute to the Cafe, please email your comments to islay@scottishreview.net


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